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27th-Oct-2009 09:54 pm(no subject)
I'm lost.  And alone.  I just feel nothing anymore.  That's why I haven't posted.  Because how do you post nothing.  And that is what I am, nothing.  Nothing, no one, no where.
31st-Jul-2009 10:16 pm(no subject)

It took thirty minutes to talk myself out of making myself throw up. It's the scariest moment I've had since I got out of therapy.

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23rd-Jun-2009 11:28 pm - Up up and high

My mom has surgery on Friday. I'm trying not to think about it.
I got blazed tonight with people. And I drank pot tea. It was rather fun. Then I went and saw the movie Up in 3D. Being high made this movie insane. All coming at me and shit like that. It was cute though, I'd def go see it again.
I miss Melissa. And I have a headache. Time to watch Hannah on DVD.

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

17th-Jul-2007 10:15 pm - If only I could learn to do this...
I would love to say I wrote this, but sadly I did not.

With loneliness comes the gift of self awareness.  If you let yourself know your loneliness by being still with it rather then keeping yourself so busy running from it, you may learn why you keep others at a distance and how you do it.

Sadness offers the gift of healing and cleansing when we allow ourselves to cry.  It teaches us compassion for ourselves and for others.  Sometimes, situations that bring up a lot of sadness can provide us with the opportunity to heal past hurts and cry those "little girl" tears that weren't safe to cry "back then".

Jealousy can make us aware of what we want for ourselves, what we truly desire.

So, when a feeling comes knocking on your door, don't run and hide and pretend no one is home.  Don't slam the door in her face and say, "Get lost!  I'm busy and don't want to be bothered."  Invite her in.  Ask her, "What brings you here?" Get to know her.
16th-Jul-2007 12:59 pm - To Feel is to be Alive
Cut me open.  Make me bleed.  At least that way I'd know that I'm real.  Maybe then I would feel.
15th-Jul-2007 04:09 pm(no subject)
I'm running out of places to escape to.  I'm running out of people to run to.  I'm running out of time.  Sometimes I just want it to all go away.  The good is only here for a short time, it makes it hard getting through the bad.  I think sometimes I'm just running out of life.  I need somewhere to run.  Or I just need to stop running.
11th-Jul-2007 07:50 pm - Smoke Screen
The red herring.  The red herring is what my life has become.  A smoke screen for the real issue.  I travel through this laberynth only hoping to make it out alive.  Some days I fall, some days I move forward.  Most of the time it is like reaching for the stars, climbing a rainbow.  Something that can't be done.  I will do it though.  I will make it through this laberynth and I will be a stronger person because of it.  And that is all I can do.  Just keep walking.  Falling.  Moving forward.
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